I feel like I must have had a sign on my forehead...

...that read "Easy target, young and foolish, all boys come manipulate me". Unfortunately, that's what happen. Our neighborhood was ALL boys except my sister, cousin and I. At the time, I thought it was great because I was pretty much a tomboy. But beginning at around 7 years old - I began being fondled by several of the neighborhood boys. Thankfully, nothing more than fondling took place with them. This spanned over several years, even into my early teen years when I was held at knife-point with a machete to strip down or I was going to risk getting my neck cut by an over drugged pothead who was high. I didn't strip down and am thankful for God's hand of protection but I'm a bit ahead of myself...I still have a bigger story to share before this knife-point thing happened.

In to Trouble

About a year after my uncle and the penny incident my brother and I were playing in one of our rooms when he found a dirty magazine. While looking at it, he talked me into doing some of the things in the picture with him...at 5 I would say that I knew it wasn't "right" but he was older and said it would be fun...needless to say...it wasn't! We got caught experiementing and got the belt for it...

And so it begins...

...with a penny

I was just 4 years old when the sexual abuse for me began. I had swallowed a penny and went and told my mom and dad who told me to go lay down. We had an uncle visiting that day who over heard the conversation between me and my parents and quickly came to my rescue. I went to lay down on my lower bunk bed in the room that I vaguely remember my brother and sister also playing in at that time. My uncle came to me and laid down next to me - he told my brother and sister to not tell anyone that he was in there and told me he was going to rub my tummy to help the penny to come out. I just remember saying in my little girl voice, "But Uncle, that's not my tummy". He told me to hush that I would feel better soon.

Matthew 10:19b-20

Do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you. Lord lead me as I begin to blog about my life... (Published originally on March 2, 2009 but date changed to reverse post order)